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24. I am still thinking about lying.

December 15, 2011

So after post #19, I kind of calmed down about the whole guy in a red suit thing. People keep telling me how it went down in their homes. I’ve heard no stories of utter devastation. No extreme loss-of-innocence. Most importantly from my selfish point of view: no one has reported losing faith in their parents. Instead, these stories remind me of how it went down in my family: perfectly fine, and a little bit unmemorable. As the oldest sibling and cousin, all I really remember is trying to “keep the hope alive” for the younger ones. That felt good. It felt grown-up.  It felt responsible. I held privileged information, and I liked that.

Still, the whole business leads me to think about how much I conceal from my kids. The other day in the schoolyard, I had a hush-hush conversation about juvenile drinking. A few other parents and I were one-upping each other with anecdotes from the ancient past—our pre-legal days. One guy had gone into a bar and cavalierly ordered a Zombie, thinking he wouldn’t get carded if he ordered a really sophisticated drink. I was always too chicken to actually try to go into a bar or liquor store. I do remember standing in the 7-11 parking lot, trying to get casual passersby to buy us a bottle of what must have been really crappy wine. It got even crappier when, lacking a corkscrew, we had to push the cork down through the bottle’s neck. That night ended up with me lying face down in a gutter at 3 am. Not something I ever want to repeat – but neither is it something I regret (anymore) or feel ashamed of.

But this doesn’t mean I will tell this story to my kids. Ever.

To be continued….

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Madeline permalink
    December 27, 2011 2:28 pm

    You’re so responsible! Most older siblings/kids I know are eager to be the one to break the news that Santa isn’t real.

    • December 27, 2011 4:31 pm

      yeah. I was ridiculously responsible. that’s probably why im such a flake now!


  1. 25. Still on the subject of lying… « I am not who I think I am

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